I just don't get it. I worked so hard for everyone, showered them with so much love, wished the best for them, but they don't even care a little about me. This feels so wrong, but frankly, I'm so pissed off. Isn't that rude, disregarding each thoughtfulness of mine? I wanted them to be happy, but they don't care if I'm sad or glad. I wished them blissfulness, but they don't even want to waste their time thinking of me. Isn't that just... evil? I won't ever claim myself as an angel-hearted person, I'm not. But compared to them, aren't I?
***
In life, people make choices. I choose them. But they don't choose me. It's miserable, how our path didn't cross each other. We just met, said hello, became friends, and then forget each other anytime soon. I once believe in "best friend forever" thingies, but then I realized that it's something impossible. Even if my path crossed theirs a few times, but since we can't stay at a same place forever, as we go forward, we'll leave 'that' path and make a new one. Pathetic, indeed. Most of myself think that the concept about "friends" works the same as "partner" does. Help each other, cares for each other, love each other, but no matter what, that kind of relationship will not be that much as we expect it would be.
***
Growing up ruins everything. At least, that's what I can conclude for now: you graduated high school, and automatically become a jobless person. You just wake up, eat, watch TV, eat, take a bath, do some things online, then go to sleep, and repeat them all over again. Then you feel like needing to go get a job, but then you feel like don't want to let go of your freedom. But you know that you can't be like that forever, it's such a pain in the ass to burden your parents (both financially and mentally) for the rest of your life. You'll start looking for a job because you need it, not because you want it.
***
Hi guys, so, this [Random Chatter] article is... Well, kind of article that contains my random rattlings? Every person has their own randomness, and probably this article is one of mine. I hope this kind of post won't bother you. It's just my way to spew my thoughts :)
picture source: google.
Aww Christy, trust me I know how you feel. :(
ReplyDeleteBut regardless of everything that is shitty, when you grow up (it kinda sucks but) you'll learn how not to expect, how to give and be okay without getting back, you'll learn to forgive but not forget, and how to let go. It won't be a nice journey, but that's part of life. You'll hurt and you'll get hurt. But it's your choice to learn or to stay childish and keep pitying yourself. I hope you're doing okay ya? You can message me on line if you ever needed a friend (tho no promises of 24/7 fast response). hahaha.
And for the record, yes it is our responsibilities to start finding jobs, but when when you wanna find one, make sure you do it because you want to and that's something that you know you can handle (doesnt have to be what you like, but its great if thats what you like) okay? Because believe me, it's not that easy finding a job after graduating only from high school and your parents might and probably would understand that.
Gosh I didn't realize I just rant on your comment box, I hope I did help or at least cheer you up. Sorry for ranting. All the love C!
xx
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Growing up sucks, but if you manage to do something that makes you happy it can be very rewarding. It is sad that not all friendships are forever, but you have to remember them for the good times and know you'll make new friends and create more amazing memories. It was lovely reading your thoughts!
ReplyDeletexo
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Great post dear!
ReplyDeleteBebaGottel
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When we grow up our priority is change.
ReplyDeleteSometimes we may feel disappointed with people choices but that‘s it is.
That‘s a part of life.
What I learn when I grow up is to not expecting much.
To give and never hope for any return.
Because human can always make us disappointed.
With less expectation, less disappointing, then less pain :).
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